Lifestyle

  • Written by Tess Sanders Lazarus


According to Yvonne Allen well known relationship mentor, psychologist and matchmaker, a first date is  one of the most important milestones in a relationship.  “It’s the time you make first impressions and create an overall judgement and opinion of your date.   However when you try to impress someone it usually comes across as unnatural.   Your date isn’t there to hear your life achievements or listen with wide eyes as you give yourself a glowing review,” Yvonne adds with a smile.

 

Although it may be difficult to try to impress your first date, Yvonne has eight easy tips to make this milestone, a memorable one.

 

So, how exactly do we impress our date?

 

  1. Be a listener

We all appreciate it when someone takes the time to listen to us.  Everyone wants to be heard and understood.  So ensure that on your first date you listen and give the person you are dating time to talk and express themselves.  This is likely to make a positive and lasting impression and indicates that you have a real and genuine interest in them.  Listening is a powerful way that we humans make real and deep connections.

 

  1. Mention their name

Be attentive and refer to your date by name during your conversation as this will make them feel acknowledged and valued.  It will also help to keep them engaged and involved as they will feel as though there is more of a connection with you.  

 

  1. Keep the conversation balanced and relatively light

A first date is not the time to talk about your past relationships nor should it be like an inquisition.  It’s important that your conversation on a first date is not one-sided and is upbeat.  Meeting someone whose profile you have read on a dating site or through an introduction service will give you some background about them and their interests and this can be a good starting point.   Discussing interests can be a good way to get to know more about each other and be indicative of things you could enjoy sharing together.  

 

Men seeking to impress need to be wary of ‘the peacock phenomenon’.  While you may want to impress your date, it’s important to remember to ask your date about themselves.    First date conversation should not be an interrogation.  It is an opportunity for you both to get to know each enough to decide if you would like to meet again.

 

  1. Don’t complaint and avoid conflict

Put yourself in the right frame of mind when you are on your first date.  Avoid venting or complaining about issues or your day.   You need to keep things positive, relevant and fun.  Be honest about yourself and your life, and focus on topics that will stimulate conversation with your date.  Some topics such as religion, politics or global issues can be polarising, and are best left for another time.  

 

  1. Make them feel special

We may never remember exactly what our dates say, but we do remember how they make us feel. It’s harder to message your friends and describe a run-down dialogue of your night, but it’s easier to tell them how their words made you feel.  So, take that, and give it back to them.  Focusing your concentration on the person you are with makes them feel special.   Compliment them and don’t be distracted by other things, including your phone.  Put it away.  Give them your full attention.

 

  1. Dress appropriately

Whether your first date is a picnic at a beach or dining in a fine restaurant, wear something that is comfortable and suitable.  While comfort is key, remember one of the first dating lessons our mothers and friends told us, dress to impress.   Make an effort to look your best.  If you are a woman coming from work, add some glamour and change your top, put on some bling earrings or necklace, or let out your hair.   Make sure you look like you have made an effort to look your best.

 

  1. Plan ahead and don’t stress

Going on a first date should be exciting and stress free.   Chat with your date beforehand and agree on a location or activity.  Pre-book so you are not having to deal with any last minute surprises.   If things don’t go to plan, don’t get angry, frustrated or upset.   Just work through an alternative solution with your date and do something else.   Your ability to deal with pressure is also on display and part of the dating process.   

 

  1. Enjoy yourselves

The number one thing that not only leaves a good impression, but also makes the date memorable and leaves you both wanting more, is just simply sharing a really good time.  Have fun, let go a little, get to know your date and let them get to know you.  This makes for a genuinely fun time.

 

Established by Yvonne Allen in 1976, Yvonne Allen and Associates is a highly respected introduction agency that has won recognition for the professional and supportive approach it takes to assisting clients to achieve their relationship goals.  Many of its clients have business or professional occupations.  They appreciate that the consultancy does the searching and they enjoy the outcomes!

 

www.yvonneallen.com.au

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