Unlike in books and movies, it is pretty common to run into problems in a relationship. In fact, a large part of making a relationship work depends upon the ability of both partners to deal with issues that crop up. Wherever you go through a rough patch, it is important to remember that there are always resources that you can turn to for advice. Books, articles, podcasts, talking to other couples etc. can give you ideas to help you and your partner work through the roadblocks that you face. There is always the option of speaking to a qualified professional if you feel that you and your partner aren’t equipped to deal with the problem on your own. However, a lot of issues are pretty common and can be overcome with a little effort so let’s take a look at a few relationship problems and how to solve them.

1. Communication

When you and your partner stop effectively communicating with each other, it triggers multiple other issues. Whether it is because of both your busy schedules or because you feel like you have nothing to say to each other, this is a problem that needs to be fixed quickly. Set apart an hour or two, every week, for just the both of you to catch up, without kids or gadgets to pull your attention away. Try not to interrupt your partner when they talk and make sure that even your body language conveys that you’re listening. Stay away from phrases that pin the blame on the other person like “You always...” or “You never..” etc. If you feel like there genuinely is nothing to talk about, perhaps you can pick up a hobby together, like gardening or hiking. It will keep the both of you engaged as you discover something new and kick start conversation.

2. Financial troubles

Unsurprisingly, money is one of the big reasons for discord between couples. With living expenses going through the roof and the cost of healthcare, childcare and education increasing rapidly, you need to take extra care of your finances. Money problems can arise right from when you start living together and can be exacerbated by the wedding and associated expenses. When you move in with your partner, it is essential to discuss your finances and how you’re going to split expenses. Be completely honest about your fiscal health, spending limits and future plans that can incur significant expenditure, whether it is studying further, buying a house or having kids. Start saving money in a joint account for a rainy day so that when a crisis arises, you’re not left stranded and helpless. When one of you loses employment, cut back on your expenditure wherever possible and acknowledge that the both of you will tackle the situation together instead of blaming the person who isn’t working anymore. It is completely human to make mistakes with money but if the both of you work together, anything can be solved.

3. Sex

The physical aspect of a relationship is just as important as the emotional side of it. Even two people who have deep feelings for each other can be a mismatch, sexually. Sexual problems in a relationship are common in couples who have been together for a long time and have sex infrequently because of work, kids and other responsibilities. Giving up on sex, however, is not an option since it releases hormones that keeps your mind and body healthy and keeps the spark of the relationship alive. Plan time for sex. It needn’t be at night when everyone is tired, maybe you can sneak in some time in the afternoon when there is no one at home or get away for the weekend. Communicate what your sexual needs and desires are. You can try new things like incorporating sex toys to add some spice to your sex life as well.

4. Chores

After getting home from a long day of work, nobody looks forward to chores. People who work multiple jobs find it especially difficult to get errands done. As they start to pile up, you expect your partner to pick up the slack and this can lead to issues. This is a very common relationship problem and the solution is to work out a split up of responsibilities based on each person’s ability and availability. Pick up tasks that you like so it doesn’t feel like work. If nothing works out, you can shell out a little extra for a cleaning service so you can look forward to a clean home and rest after a long day at the office.

Relationship problems are unavoidable but it is important to remember that it is the both of you against the issue, not you against your partner. Keep communicating and try to anticipate and discuss problems that you might run into. Make sure that you have an active sex life and keep changing it up - one way you can do this is by using couple sex toys. Finally, be willing to put in the effort and work and you will have a great relationship.