A successful relationship and successful career – how to have the best of both worlds.
The past 50 years have seen gender roles change exponentially, and women are now encouraged to take control of their own lives, careers and families.
However, with so many women choosing to place a heavy focus on their careers, it can be difficult to take a step back from the professional mindset when in the pursuit of love.
Yvonne Allen, professional matchmaker and relationship mentor of over 40 years, is acutely aware of the challenges faced by professional women when entering the dating game.
‘There is no denying that women have fought and continue to fight courageously to have their voices heard at the male-dominated table. But in an era where we’ve had to “man-up”, we’re losing our gentle femininity, which is fundamental to the laws of attraction, and relationship building,’ says Yvonne.
Having heard it all before – “all the good ones are gone,” “men are intimidated by career women,” “I’m too busy to worry about a relationship” – Yvonne has helped countless women master the difference between personal and professional, to find love.
‘The problem most women face is often far deeper than being a professional. Perhaps, as for many other successful single women, their achievements and independence in the workplace have been appreciated and respected by their desired type of man, but their more feminine attributes likely to attract men have not been made apparent.’
Yvonne offers some key advice to single women in the workforce:
- Re-assess what you’re looking for. Chances are, the man you think you want is not the man you truly need. If you are both highly successful go-getters, how do you anticipate your schedules will align? Forget social norms and pre-conceived ideals and look for someone who can complement your life, and you theirs.
- Don’t let your tough exterior get in the way. Often women, particularly those who’ve been hurt in the past, don’t want to appear weak or vulnerable. In doing so, they appear ‘hard’. This approach can lead to eligible men being put-off. Don’t allow your past experiences to taint new possibilities.
- You are not ‘too busy’ for love. Yes, career success is greatly rewarding, but it can come at an enormous cost to your personal happiness and general wellbeing. Make sure you are not compromising what could be a meaningful relationship, because of career commitments.
- Don’t adopt a ‘male persona’. While this may have benefits in the professional arena, it can be detrimental in your personal life. Take pride in your femininity and nurture your softer side.
- Understand there are fundamental differences between men and women. Men and women handle stress differently, and require differing stress management strategies based on their individual hormones. Women seek touch, conversation and bonding to reduce stress, where men are more inclined to rest and recharge on their own. It is pivotal to understand the needs of both parties, otherwise it can be a recipe for disaster.
- Don’t be needy. Understand that when a man is focused on his work, or anything else that may be pressing, he is unlikely to think of anything else. The male brain has evolved to be singularly focused, and lacks capacity to multitask. Be mindful that he needs his space when dealing with matters of his own.
- Don’t chase too hard. Men are wired to be ‘the hunter,’ not ‘the hunted’. They appreciate knowing when a woman enjoys their company, but like to be the pursuer.
Yvonne has released a number of books over the past 41 years of her career, which offer both men and women insights into winning with the opposite sex – and getting to know themselves in the process.
For further information, visit http://www.yvonneallenrelationshipmentor.com/.