Financial Planning For Couples

Why Every Couple Should Talk About Money And A Will (Before It’s Too Late)

When you’re in a new, exciting relationship, it’s easy to delay the trickier conversations. Conversely, if you’ve been together for ages, it can start to feel unnecessary. You just sort of assume you’re on the same page.

Finances are one subject that often sit in the ‘we’ll deal with that later’ basket. 

Money talk is bigger than just who pays for dinner or how to split bills. It’s about planning your future, protecting each other and yourselves, and building something lasting together.

Why money conversations matter more than you think

Money is one of the leading causes of tension in relationships. In fact, research conducted by Relationships Australia shows that financial stress is the number one cause of relationship breakdown for all couples. 

Somehow it’s also one of the least talked-about topics. Many couples avoid it altogether until a crisis forces the issue.

ABC Australia reports that up to 70% of Aussie couples don’t have a legally binding Will. Not having a Will leaves couples financially exposed, as it can lead to unintended asset distribution, delays in accessing funds, and uncertainty over guardianship or control of shared property. This often undermines even the most carefully made financial plans.

But open discussions about money are important for making sure you’re on the same page. When couples are financially aligned, they’re more likely to:

• Set shared goals, like buying a home or travelling
• Avoid resentment caused by hidden debts or surprise spending
• Create a sense of security and partnership
• Handle unexpected life events with more stability

Financial compatibility doesn’t mean you agree on everything. You may be a natural saver while your partner is a spender. You might have high risk tolerance while your partner just likes a savings account. You might even clash on backpacking vs luxury travel.

The important thing is that you’re willing to talk, compromise, and plan together.

What to talk about (beyond just splitting the bills)

It’s easy to fall into autopilot when it comes to finances. 

Perhaps one person automatically handles the bills, or one takes care of savings. Or maybe nobody takes the lead and there’s a bit of confusion around money. This can create imbalance or misunderstandings.

Good money conversations include:

• Your income and expenses. How much you each earn and what your regular commitments are
• How you plan to share or not share finances
• Savings goals. Are you saving for the same things? Do you agree on how much to put away?
• Debt. Be honest about credit cards, student loans, or any personal debts
• Attitudes to spending. Are you a saver and they’re a spender?
• Long-term plans such as superannuation, investment properties, starting a business
• What happens when you pass away? Do you have a legally binding Will?

There’s no “right” way to structure your finances as a couple. What matters is that you’re both informed and involved.

Don’t skip the long-term planning

Many couples put off discussions about wills, insurance and what happens in the event of illness or death. That’s understandable, as these topics are uncomfortable. But they’re also pretty important.

Having a will is one of the most important steps you can take to protect your partner and loved ones. 

Without a legally valid will, your assets may not be distributed the way you intend. This can be especially complicated for de facto couples, blended families, or people with business assets.

If you’ve never written a will or have one that’s out of date, this Essential Guide to Writing a Will by Randle & Taylor is a clear, practical resource. It breaks down what should go in a will, who needs one, and how to get it done properly.

Including a will as part of your money conversation is an act of care and could save your partner and extended family stress if the worst were to happen.

How to bring it up

You don’t need to start the conversation with spreadsheets and super balances. A gentle approach works best:

• “Have you ever thought about how we want to manage money as things get more serious?”
• “I’ve been reading about couples who set financial goals together. Maybe we could try that?”
• “I came across an article about wills for couples, and it made me realise we haven’t talked about that kind of planning.”
• Pick a neutral time. Don’t bring it up in the middle of a stressful week or worse, mid-argument. Keep it casual and curious.
• Maybe turn it into a kind of date night. Pour a glass of wine, open up the Excel sheet and get fiscally responsible.

The goal isn’t to control or criticise, but to learn about each other and plan together.

Talking about money doesn’t mean the romance is gone. If anything, it’s one of the most caring (and practical) things you can do. 

It says, “I see a future with you, and I want us to be prepared.”

Whether you’re just starting out or decades in, make time for the money conversation. And while you’re at it, tackle the things no one wants to think about, like writing a will. Because the best kind of planning is about wellbeing as much as wealth.

Frequently asked questions

What should couples include in their financial conversations?

Couples should discuss income, debt, savings, financial goals, spending habits, and long-term plans like retirement or children’s education. These conversations help align values and prevent misunderstandings further down the line.

How do you bring up money in a relationship without starting an argument?

Choose a calm, neutral time to talk. Use open, non-judgemental language. Frame the conversation around shared goals and curiosity rather than criticism or blame. 

Do de facto couples need a will?

Yes. De facto couples aren’t automatically entitled to their partner’s estate. A valid will ensures your wishes are respected and avoids legal complications after death. A Will guide is a great place to start.

Why is writing a will important for couples?

Writing a will gives you control over how your assets are distributed. It protects your partner, avoids family disputes, and ensures legal clarity. 

It’s especially important if you’re not married or have children from a previous relationship. It also lets you specify what happens to children if you both pass away within a short period.

When is the right time to write a will?

The best time to write a will is as soon as you have something to protect. This could be property, savings, a business, or dependants. Life events like moving in together, buying a home, or having kids are also good triggers.

Is a DIY will enough?

While DIY will kits exist, they often miss important legal requirements. To ensure your will is valid and enforceable, it’s worth getting advice from a lawyer or using a legal guide like the one from Randle & Taylor.